He Loves Me (TW)

He respects my cold silence.
Understands when I start to triple check
Every. Lock. In the house.
When I start drinking to fall asleep.
When I turn off the show or movie
When a scene gets too triggering.

I've ran out of theaters.
Cried countless times during sex.
Explained the scars.
Showed his photo.
Told the story.
The joke of a sentence.
The fear of orange Dodge Ram's.

Explained every loss
Thanks to what this man did to me.
Continue to hurt
And he holds me.
And he comforts me.
And he tries to understand.
He wipes the tears.
He kisses my head.
He's there at whatever distance I need him.

He loves me
And loves me
And loves me.
He loves away the hurt,
The trauma.
The flashbacks.

He doesn't know what I hold back.
He doesn't know I still have flashbacks
When we're making love.

He doesn't know when
I can't stop remembering.

He doesn't know how frequently
I check the offender registry.
How painful the name Richard is.

How much I hurt when he's sleeping
Next to my crying body.

He tells me I'm so strong.
He tells me he'd kill him.
He tells me I'm amazing.
He tells me he loves me
And promises to stand by me
Despite where my brokenness leads.

He loves so hard.
He fights with me.
And he doesn't even know
How he keeps me afloat.

I love him
And I love him.
And we love
Through every day.