You’ve been haunting me in my dreams a lot lately-
Most likely because of the lawsuit
bringing up so many things I’d forgotten about but;
That doesn’t make it any less haunting.
The last time you haunted me in my dreams
I searched for you in a crowd of students-
Yelling your name and pushing and elbowing through bodies but I could never catch up to you.
I’d wake up in a hot sweat
with tears rolling down my cheeks;
My heart hurt so much and all I’d wanted was to see you again.
This time you chase me.
I keep running from you,
Walking away and avoiding eye contact
even though you’re somehow always right there
with the group of people in same room
as I am.
I can’t get away from you;
But you could always get away from me.
The pain of losing you is still very much real;
And I still ache with every memory of
snowflake kisses
and pizza with tov lo song lyrics about how
I’d have to stay high all the time
to forget how much I miss you.
Well I’m never high,
And sometimes I do forget how much I used to miss you and it’s a relief.
I just want my dreams to forget it too.
