4:28 A.M.

by Owner of an Untamed Heart   Feb 11, 2020


"We're holding on for dear life;
this isn't finished-- we're just not ready yet.
Whatever's yours is mine;
that includes the messed up heart and messed up head.
You put up a good fight
and I can't help but be stubborn as hell...
Oh well, I guess only time will tell
why we can't just love ourselves."

Right now, his words are more slurred
than I would prefer, and my mind slips into times
when he and I were worth it, but it had never occurred.
What makes it worse is I know how to stop the hurt,
but I'll only let go if he lets go first.

We had the days grasped in our hands--
bathed in orange sunlight, we would dance--
I told him I would never lie to his face,
but this love is such a disgrace.
We've tried to rekindle all the love we made--
retraced the steps to get back to that place--
it's just not that easy to please me anymore,
and it's broken us to the core.

It's just too hard to break apart;
gripping on the past, I admit, isn't smart.
This has to stop; we have to quit pretending
we're happy when we're not.
Oh, but goodbye isn't as sweet as hello again--
we thought if we took our times, the world would never end,
but we're more broken than we've ever been.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by Brenda

    I can totally relate to this. Being broken, hoping for a change, knowing deep in your heart, it's not going to happen. You floored me with the slurry words, God, I hate slurry words...too many bad memories with those. Well done with this-
    ..

  • 4 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Second to last line: should "times" be "time"?

    I like how you re-visit the theme of brokenness here and what that means, and also the complexity of leaving, because often it can be easier to wait things out or keep everything as it is. In a way, we do a disservice to ourselves by not giving either the time to grow and sort things out, or a new beginning.

    This line holds so much depth: "Oh, but goodbye isn't as sweet as hello again"

    It makes me think of what goodbyes really mean. Would it mean cutting ties completely, or keeping a respectable distance? But then, how do you even process from there?

    It takes me back to a key part in what you remember him saying in the first stanza about loving yourselves. Is that what needs to happen first. Learning to love yourself, which is an ongoing process, before continuing this love?

    "but I'll only let go if he lets go first."

    It can perhaps be easier to endure or at least recognize the hurt, a sort of familiar way about it, rather than uprooting everything. Or letting go of memories.
    So many questions and emotions in this. Some truly thought-provoking lines. Thanks for sharing with us <3

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