I am tired of always being tired.
I'm tired of this constant should-have-been or should-be.
I'm tired of trying to reconcile damaged-goods with I'm-not-just-some-survivor
Tired of these metaphors
of beating around the bush;
I cannot changes facts or
Disappear the habit of running away
I am incapable of erasing the fear
and unwilling to apologize to anyone
I am tired
of defining myself with discussion
I'll be the first to recommend
You define me by my actions than
by my less-than-poetic daily talk
I swear more than I should
And yes, maybe I joke more than is appropriate
But I am sick from putting on airs
And I am fed up with the people I've been
There isn't enough life to live
for me to be the person everyone wants me to be.
I cannot manage to be anything more than me.
I'm too tired of this Midwestern politeness
too tired of the common courtesies,
"How is it going" never felt
So foreign to me.
All I can manage anymore
is to treat others better than I treat me.
