by Obscure
I feel like this is more of a letter (prose) than a poem. I like the idea you present, but it doesn't feel like a poem to me. Enotes says (in response to the question "What makes a poem a poem?") "what makes a poem a poem is the ability to make the reader feel something." I've found that a good poem often provokes a strong emotion, memory, picture, or feeling. The problem is not that you do not make me feel anything, but the language you use and the way your poem is presented makes it hard to get the feeling you're trying to get across. |
Thank you Obscure! |
Neat that you did a couplet, however, I feel it didn't showcase the strength and depth of emotions in this poem. I personally felt like you need more "showing", rather than "telling". |
Thank you, Poet, On The Piano! |
I want to say sorry I normally add dots to my poems I must forget to add them I will fix my poem for sure. |