I'm worthless

Tonight is not the night
This night is filled with fright
As I lay in bed
These thoughts sworm my head
I promised myself I would not drink
But I can no longer think
I want to feel numb
But now I feel dumb
Everything is going fine
But why do I feel like swine
I just want to die
I feel like I can't even try
To live feels like so much pain
I feel like I'm a stain
I feel like everyone lies when they say they want me around
But in truth they don't want me to be found
I feel worthless
It's meaninglessness
I just want to die