I really feel like I can relate with this piece. I've struggled with depression and similar things for many years, and it's a struggle I wouldn't wish on anyone else. There's so much grief huddled together in this one poem, and it makes my heart ache for you.

I know I'm just a random person on the internet, but I sincerely believe that people would not be "unfazed" by your disappearance. What's the one saying? "No man is an island." Our actions (or lack thereof) affect people. I think that we are destined to meet certain people at certain times, to influence and shape them. If we end it all before we were meant to leave, there will almost be an empty space. The people who we were meant to have a relationship with will feel that something is missing.

I found your line "But are the unknowns worth the chance?" fascinating. In a sense, our entire life is full of unknowns and we have a chance to navigate these unknowns to the best of our ability. There's a constant weighing going on in most of our heads (deciding on the best course of action). I know our brains can make "ending it all" seem like an appealing option, but once we're gone, we're gone. We can't change the world anymore and we can't come back if we don't like the afterlife. Honestly, because our entire life is spent preparing (training) us for the afterlife, I think when we go, we should try to be as prepared as we can be. Use all the life you been given, you only have the one.

I also thought "What if eternity gone is more painful then existing?" and "what if true happiness never comes?" were thought-provoking questions. We don't know exactly what is waiting for us on the other side of life. For some it could be torture worse than anything on earth, but for others it could be a peace like none other. Because we don't know, we should take each day as it comes. In life, there will be ups and downs (for some of us, mostly downs), but we gotta take the bad days as they come and enjoy the good days while they're here. There's a saying "this too shall pass" and it helps me get through the bad days sometimes. Even if true happiness never comes, I want to leave this life able to say that I did my best to reach true happiness and I got as close as I could.

I'm sorry that you have to endure this sadness, but I know you can be strong because of (and in spite of) the obstacles you've been given. Please continue to try.
Thank you for sharing!

P.S. I now realize that I may have put too much into this comment. Nonetheless, I hope it made sense and wasn't too confusing.