The Night

by Lainie Reay   Feb 26, 2020


The darkness covers like a veil of shade,
As the sunlight fades from view,
My mind thinks back to a different day,
Like an index, flipping back through,
Usually it stops at a sad memory,
Then tells me there was more I could do,
Replaying it again, hundreds of times,
A broken record, playing just for you,
Over & over that tune comes to life,
While the hours tick by in the dark,
Then the sunrises up & the opera then fades,
To the beautiful sounds of the lark.

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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by prasanna

    I like this piece, thank you for sharing!

  • 4 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Very relatable piece on not just overthinking, but the anxiety in which we feel there is no reprieve from, especially chastising ourselves for not doing more etc.

    I feel like line breaks or at least periods on the fourth, eighth and twelfth line could have helped the flow here. Also, I think (or at least am pretty sure?) you don't need the apostrophes for "hundred's".

    Last four lines felt the weakest to me. "Over over" broke the flow - maybe "over AND over". "comes to life" didn't seem like the strongest phrase, instead of "comes", maybe use a musical verb to connect with the record/tune part of this stanza.

    "Then the sunrises up" felt awkwardly worded. Also didn't think you needed the "then" in the second part of that line. Neat mention of "opera" though. The closing lines wasn't as satisfying... I get the relief of the sun coming up, the noise of something other than your thoughts, maybe use a more powerful and dramatic way to get that across than "beautiful" to describe the sounds? Since this is the end of the night and the start of a new day.

    Just some ideas, glad to see you posting, Lainie! :)

    • 4 years ago

      by Lainie Reay

      Hi,

      I wasn't totally happy with it to be honest but felt like I hadn't written much of late. I had the first four lines a while before I added the rest. It was mean't to say "Over & Over" thank you for letting me know. I think I will have another full look at it to see if I can make it flow better.

      Thanks Lainie :)

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