A Year Ago

A year ago
was a much different time
for me.
I was in school
struggling to get the grades
I held my standards to.
I was working
at an internship
where I felt like
I accomplished nothing.
I was in a relationship
where I felt worse about myself
than I ever did.
At that point in time,
I had to convince myself
that I was okay
even though
I really wasn't.
I was invalidated,
I was lied to,
I was mistreated.
It truly is
eye opening
when you realize
that the things you thought
were normal
were far from it.
Had I understood
that feeling like a mistake
was a red flag
maybe things would've
been different.
Had I understood
that life is difficult
and I was doing the best
I could
maybe
I wouldn't have crashed
so hard.
A year later,
I do not have to convince myself
of anything anymore.
I am truly riding the waves
with grace
like they never phased me.
Finally,
I realize that
being myself
is the best person I can be.
Anyone who tells me otherwise
can shove it.
I have survived
my own mind,
and I think that
is something to be proud of.