We're coming up
on four years
without you.
It's hard to believe
that much time
has passed.
In the span
of a few months,
we went from
looking forward to your surgery
to saying goodbye to you.
I do not remember
the last words
I said to you,
nor do I remember
my last time visiting you.
It all went so fast
the last few weeks
you were alive.
You gave it everything
you had,
and that's what I admire the most
about you.
The fact that,
no matter how hard
times were,
you always fought
your hardest.
I remember
a bouquet of
pink and purple flowers
that read,
"Papa"
as we laid you to rest.
They were beautiful
and encompassed
your time as a grandfather.
As I knelt over a box
with your name on it,
I realized then
that you weren't coming back.
Luckily for me,
I get to see the continuation
of your life
in my youngest brother.
He reminds me
so much of you,
and when I see him
I know that you're still with us.
While I miss
kayaking on the river with you
and riding the lawn mower
around your neighborhood,
I know
that it is okay
because you are still in my heart.
I will always
miss you.
Instead of letting your absence
bring me down,
I'm going to celebrate the fact
that you were a part of my life.
I love you, Papa, always.
