Substitutes (free verse)

It's dangerous
Finding substitutes for love
Because ultimately
It's not good enough
It never is
And you become addicted
Spending all your time
On a substitute
Not pursuing the real thing

And you become ashamed
horribly ashamed
Because you know that it's
a crutch
And if you told anyone
about your substitute for love
it would become apparent that
You've settled for second best
What a shame

You can't receive love
because you are
too full
and too empty
You can't give love
Because you've wasted it trying to feel happy
Love feels
unattainable
But you've made it worse
you're
still
making it worse

You build walls to hide an addiction
it keeps you safe from the outside
But they don't let you breathe
And you starve for air
When there is plenty outside
You feel like a loveless monster
clawing away at walls you built yourself
Screaming because you can't be safe
All alone
Is dangerous
Because you
are your own worst enemy

Take down your walls
brick
by
brick
And face whatever danger there is
because comfort doesn't help you grow
It helps you settle
for less than you deserve

Please face the fear
Don't drag yourself to second best
Yes the waiting is hard
And mistakes hurt
But you'll learn
That those who hide away
And numb their pain with
substitutes
eventually find
more pain
And heartbreak
And uncertainty
Than if they accepted
The waiting

So whatever addiction you're using
To substitute for what you need
If you're scared
to let go of your substitutes,
Please try.
I've suffered for years because
substitutes
seemed safer
than risks and mistakes.

Mistakes aren't failure
So be careful how careful you are
and remember that
Substitutes
rob you
of more
than they promise