I find it
extremely difficult
at night.
While the world
lies in their beds
fast asleep,
my mind races
until exhaustion
eventually hits.
The clock says
that it's 3am,
but my eyes
do not feel heavy.
I clutch my fists
as I curl into a ball
trying to fight this.
I understand
that this pain
does not compare
to what I felt
7 months ago,
but it still hurts
because I was born
like this.
Genetics predisposed me
to this struggle,
but trauma
sped up the process.
In the daytime,
there are distractions
which are not present
in the hours of dusk.
What is it like
to not think
what I think?
To be
"normal"?
