Drift

Out of body
I see myself float
Speck of grey dust
Legs and arms, they’re dancing
Slow motion
Falling through blackness
I see your face, eyes staring at my lips
Standing by my Jeep
I feel your kiss

I see the top of my father’s head
Tiny hands in his hair
Walking through a park with my legs, kicking joyfully on his shoulders

I see my mother standing over me, asking,
“Did you break this?”

I see my sister, venom in her mouth,
Spitting at me,
Then I feel her arms wrapped around me,
Rubbing my back

I see his brown skin like earth
With round shoulders too easy to touch

I see my horse’s mane billowing
As we gallop, kicking up dust

I see him scowling in the car because I didn’t appreciate the song he wrote
I see myself on knees, begging that he come back to me
I see myself crying on a train in Thailand, curtains drawn

I see myself four years old, walking into the forest behind my father

I see my mother laughing

I see it all as flashes in the blackness

I’m drifting tonight
Drifting through snapshots of my life