napowrimo: rage (day 24)

This is so powerful! It resonates with me! a mixture of rage indeed but softened by wisdom and sadness. The use of "mundane" was very smart, though it makes me wonder can someone be saddened if they are careless? Or is it just a mask to cover that you do care but you know that it won't matter, it's useless. I found this to be very thought provoking and the wording is so subtle. I love each single line, the whole piece speaks volumes. one of my favorites from your latest.

The opening line grabbed me. The declaration, or maybe more of a confession, that you were not shown, so it something you must find on your own. How to be gentle. How you specifically can be in gentle and what that will manifest into.

"the whirling winds outside
come speaking my name."

^ "come speaking" seemed a bit unnecessary, kind of awkward has opposed to "speak my name"? The alliteration of "whirling winds" worked so well, though.

It was very neat to me how you sought to choose the softness in your voice, knowing perhaps, you could be a vessel to the outpouring of the wind and storms, but wanting to have control. Finesse.

Then, mentioning the after-thought, and how you are okay with this... it added some wisdom in this. That it's not perhaps you trying to have no voice at all, only, you are understanding the importance of few words or that having every thought and word amplified is not how you want to live your life. Honestly, I prefer to live a quiet life, too. There's humility in that, and perspective in realizing what is and isn't essential. Listening is so important and can give one insight into the importance of what we speak and how we give passion to those thoughts.

"keeping myself warm with the mundane"

^ Really liked line, especially the phrasing. It makes me wonder, are you truly content? Or is this something you've come to accept over time. Is it not a matter of believing you are worthy of more than just the mundane and more a comfort sort of thing? Not wanting to step outside and fear being misunderstood, or hurt, or let down.

"there’ a certain
poetry to such a life. sad?
perhaps."

^ should "there'" be "there's"?

"weathering the sadness
is easier alone –

there’s no expectations."

^ Oof. This is when I felt that wave of loneliness. Dealing with our own heavy emotions can be less complicated in a way by not involving anyone, but in the long run, is it easier? We may become even more weighed down by them, by the responsibility to bear them alone. But I can also understand, when we open up, we have to give and receive too. We may feel at some point like we're burdening others, or now have to follow up, and there's a back-and-forth with that. The expectation line really hit home. Expectations of others, and perhaps expectations of ourselves. So in a way, we're not holding ourselves to that standard and by keeping everything internal, we have no one else to blame. There's also not the hope from others or the faith we put in ourselves to commit to a certain level.

I found lots of layers in this. Not just outright sad or lonely but holding much more introspection.