Another day of emotional roller coasters
You constantly complain and belittle
Telling me I need to get my shit together
When I’m barely holding on as it is
Without my kids I’m a whole new disaster
Something you just don’t understand or care
Without my kids I only have one desire
A desire you often deny me because I’m stupid
My children were my grounding point to adulthood
Without them I don’t want the same things anymore
I wanna go back to who I used to be stupid & carefree
I have no desire to go through the motions anymore
I almost always wanna walk out the door
I wanna go to a bar and drown my sorrows & pain
I wanna forget the could have beens & happiness
That was just within my grasp
I thought that I deserved my family & to marry you
But all I see now is the what if’s and the pain
The life we planned to build be ripped away
Now that I can’t have it with you, what’s the point
I’m always hiding in my hole sinking into the dark
Clinging for a reason for me to stay
I love you I hope you can see it’s true
But my values and desires have shifted back
I’m just not happy here anymore
I can’t be the person you want me to be
I know you see it too
But here I lay clinging to the hope
