Comments : On Holding Out

  • 4 years ago

    by prasanna

    "From the recurring sun
    that shuns my distress
    rising in power amid the fog,
    to the gentle breeze
    that flouts the fire,
    I go against all odds."

    This is a beautiful opening, I love the strong visuals that you present. The key verse for me was 'I go against all odds', it sets up the reader up to expect something extraordinary to follow.

    "Sketching black clouds
    to defy sunrays,
    I close every window
    fix every crack,
    pressing tight upon
    the holes in my heart,
    preventing light from slipping in."

    andd here it is. First of all wow. The image of black clouds is spot on - you saying you're sketching it is powerful, it means you're in control and is a nice callback to your previous napowrimo poem, 'It's Inveterate', with the bit about not being an artist. At least that's what my mind first connected it to. The visual is super strong - you're locking everything down in an attempt to prevent the light from coming in, which in itself is a powerful statement. Why is it that you're averse to the light? It gets the readers mind wondering.

    "I surrender to winter's black
    clinging tight to cold and fear.
    It's with hope that I would sink,
    it's with warmth that I would break.
    I survive in the dark
    on lack of trust and on doubt.
    Stronger on my own
    I belong alone,
    to carry on, and hold out."

    And you answer why - a bleak, stark answer but an answer nonetheless. Light being representative of hope, warmth, everything that would feed the soul and the mind is not welcomed to you because you've come accustom to being alone and being in the 'dark', that became you're new norm. I can relate to that, and I'm sure others can relate to it as well. Well done Rania!

    • 4 years ago

      by Sunshine

      I love your comments more than my poems. Thank you, as usual, as if you wrote the piece! Thanks a lot.