“Mom?”
The single worded sob was powerful enough to break my own heart;
And I was the one sobbing it.
I’d begged her to call me in the middle of a breakdown-
The raw emotions of my breakup too heavy on my chest,
I felt like I was going to collapse.
The room around me spins slightly as I continue to sob and cry-
Unable to get any other words out.
It’s the sixteenth and we were supposed to get married today;
The realization that it’s finally over hit me after you’d told me you didn’t want to work it out.
You never did.
But instead of telling me this sooner you let me put every
bit of my heart and every ounce of my strength into fixing our relationship and now-
Now there’s nothing left of me.
I’ve never cried to my mother over the phone;
We have never been close
But for the first time in my life I find myself needing her and so here she is listening to her youngest daughter broken heartedly sob over the phone at eleven
at night because her own fiancé did everything he promised not to do:
Broke her heart.
Led her on.
Lied to her.
Left her to fend for herself.
And then blamed her for it.
My mom tells me that I know my dad would say “if you love him let him go,”
but what exactly do I do if I hate him?
I don’t think this anger is going anywhere anytime soon.
