I'm different than I used to be. Perhaps in some ways stronger than the older versions of me. I long to just roam free. Every night praying on bended knee, that I be blessed with a different kind of sight so beauty I can truly see.
Beauty in feeling the sorrow and the pain. A beautiful work of art standing in the pouring rain. Nothing will ever really be the same. I personally sometimes think that's such a shame. Then again I know that it smells just as sweet, a rose called by any other name.
These years have passed me by like I was standing still. Cigarettes burning in my windowsill. One thing that is hard for me to change is the way that I feel. At the same time I struggle to keep it real.
My heart has been shattered. My soul tattered and torn. My nerves a little more than just worn. Is this the destiny for which I was born. I laid rest so things I had once sworn. Another mask each day I adorn. I feel like I am as magically elusive as a unicorn. For my losses I still mourn. A demon is inside of me, so others I try to warn. I've been living life forlorn. A woman that everyone seems to scorn. Like any other Rose I have more than just a thorn. My bent halo tangled up in my devil's horn.
Some of the changes made to all aspects of my life left this horrible pain inside. Like a vital part of me had died. I have failed no matter how hard I've tried. There have been times when all day I've cried. Unable to push the heartache aside. No one is here in which I could actually confide, all I take great precautions to hide. Like my growing thoughts of premeditated homicide. Take a chance and just let it ride. Head held high with pride. I said I embraced the changes made but I lied. Misery won by a landslide.
My addictions have stolen my joy. Happiness, I doubt I will ever be one of the few that will find. That combination of peace and tranquility that eases the mind. I am stuck here in these memories that continuously rewind. Strolling though my future more than a little blind. Always doing what I can to hold onto the ties that bind. I have changed into a person that is one of a kind.
