If Only

If only I didn't lie to you and told you just the truth
You never would have doubted me and forced to be a sleuth
I now know once its gone that you'll no longer trust
The closeness we felt before now all turns to dust

If only I didn't answer the phone when I heard it ring
Forever living with consequences that it now all brings
The poor girl who I didn't see until she was out of breath
The guilt which I'm forced to live as I'm the cause of death

If only I didn't make fun of you for never wanting to drink
Then you wouldn't have got a taste from feeling forced to clink
An addiction you now rely to the point where you are sick
I ruined your life and watched you become an alcoholic

If only I didn't start playing cards all that time ago
When once it was all just for fun but now its all I know
I lost my house and lost my wife riches all thrown away
And now I'm left with nothing but debt I'm forced to pay

How many times have you thought back...If only I did this?
Reliving each moment in the past each day you'll reminisce
You know you have to act before to make all these all right
Because it's too late once you let it go to rely on just hindsight