Comments : Hollow

  • 4 years ago

    by Violet Raven

    I really enjoyed the metaphors you used here there could be a positive spin to the ending here as well.

    Memories are difficult to handle a lot of times because they are good and bad and it seems like they are bad here. It seems like this person did not listen to you are all and in their mind was all about themselves. You wish they could see things differently but you have given up hope. In fact their memories

    Seem to cause you to have panic attacks. I love the open endedness of your words here because you don't know whether they are good or bad. This person could have lost their life and you might have seen them pass away (i understand that all too well) or it could be memories of abuse and a bad relationship either way it would cause panic.

    I think cloud is a great word to use here because it tells me that they blocked your sunlight or it could mean they always rained on your land (life).

    Their absence leaves you dehydrated and barren and hallow like the sun is great but it is overpowering l. It's almost like you are saying the cloud was annoying but sometimes you needed it for protection.