Comments : Beauty || The Beast

  • 4 years ago

    by Star

    OMG I got chills readings this!!
    Powerful and full of emotions. I want to say a lot but I cant find the words!!

  • 4 years ago

    by D.

    Cynthia,

    'and leave me again
    when the bear traps of life
    anchor my ankles to the past.

    I bleed in front of you,
    and it frightens you'

    this is stunning.

    This is not immediately a poem I would associate with you, with regards to the writing style. This is very concrete, forward, real? There's a lot of bitterness here, and the person that this is directed at takes selfishly takes no responsibility for your emotions, instead, possibly expresses some kind of frustration that maybe the relationship isn't 'easy' anymore.

    The only part I wasn't keen on was the 'I thought you were keeping out
    the beast from your castle,'

    I found it a little disquieting in the context of the rest of the poem. Thematically, I get it, but it doesn't quite fit with the imagery and tone around it. Possibly it's the word 'beast', which I know you were trying to tie in with the title, but it's a little too abstract and sudden to me. Regardless of that, I loved the stripped bare honesty, the emotional immaturity of the person you're writing about is shown through constant vivid imagery.

    Excellent writing!

    • 4 years ago

      by Saerelune

      Thanks for your thorough comment, Daniel! I agree that the stanza you pointed out was a bit clumsy and I wasn't really a fan of it whilst writing it.. At first I wrote 'monster' instead of 'beast', maybe that was the better choice. Gotta think of a way to change things around. Funny enough, the title actually came after I wrote the poem.

  • 4 years ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Absolutely brilliant! I can really relate to this. When two people have different emotional levels and different defence mechanisms to cope with those emotions, it can feel impossible to relate to each other and in my experience, both parties are left feeling aggrieved and misunderstood.
    While I can relate, I don't think I'd have ever found the words or the imagery quite like this to express that. Fab write! :-) x
    =^.^=

  • 4 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Im not usually a fan of free verse but this is full of energy and emotional fire with bold vivid imagery. Glad to see it nominated. Mily x