She's My Beautiful Soulmate

by DavidPCarroll   Sep 13, 2020


She's my best friend every day
She's my happiness and and joy
She's the bright smile on my face
She's takes my breath away every day
And she's my beautiful soulmate every day..

© 2020 David P Carroll Poems..

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  • 4 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    What a beautiful and lovely poem David- Just beautiful! I have one suggestion -

    "She's takes my breath away every day"
    ^^ it reads better if it was written "she" takes my breath away every day.

    I think you are trying to stay with "she's" throughout your poem but I would like to toss out a suggestion if I may- You could try writing it like this "She's the bright smile on my face
    and takes my breath away every day"

    also, in your second line you have two "ands"

    I adore small gentle poems that are powerful and this one is a beauty. I hope I was helpful. Take care

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