Survival

by Gracy Judith   Sep 15, 2020


Raindrops descend,
ruthlessly pounding
flowers cupping moonlight—
a slow beheading begins
one by one they fall
fragile petals
wanting to survive.
if only they could live through
this darkest of nights,
the sun at dawn
would be
kinder

©GracyJudith

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  • 4 years ago

    by Lost star

    Beautifully written oh my!

  • 4 years ago

    by Brenda

    wow! Powerful words describing a hard rain and its Decemination of these poor flowers. Awesome!

  • 4 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This is a positively gruesome portrayal of an innocent flower's battle to survive the rain - "a slow beheading begins". Excellent imagery made better because of your subtle personification of said flowers.
    I guess from an allegorical level, this screams 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. I'm not sure if that was the intention but I took more than the superficial from this as I read.
    Your use of alliteration is fabulous here too - "slow beheading begins" and "bend of a bleary fight" and I certainly appreciate the sneaking in of 'darkling'. I love that word and first came across it when reading Thomas Hardy.
    Anyway, enough rambling. Nominated.

    All the best, Gracy

    • 4 years ago

      by Gracy Judith

      Thank you so much Ben for your feedback. I'm glad this piece conveyed what it was meant to. You're absolutely right! The use of personification here was to depict survival i.e. coming out stronger against all odds. When I posted this piece, I was afraid it would be taken literally i.e. rain destroying flowers.

      By the way, I love rain and I'm obsessed with flowers :-)

      And again, thank you so very much for the nomination Ben. Much appreciated.

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