when it's 4 in the morning and you're a failure

i'm sorry i'm the way i am

i sprint like a startled cat
when love comes close

i don't know comfort,
i know apathy,
i know the desire to cease
to be

my heart is everyones to break,
but you can't break ashes,
you can only scatter them over
a sea of emptiness,
my heart is a cold bedcover that
once warmed the body of a soldier,
now dead,

i'm sorry i'm a disappointing,
rotten fruit,
you hold me
and i shrink in your hands,

don't wait for me to
breathe with alacrity again,

i'm death and ugliness,
i'm loss and bitter cries,
i'm far too wounded to be saved,
my gelidity is contagious,

run away