But I remember the nights we used to fall asleep together;
When I would nudge my nose into the nape of your neck and breathe in the scent of your
body wash and cologne.
The nights when you would pull me close in your sleep-
When I would feel safe and warm and wanted.
You used to give me forehead kisses,
Have long conversations with me about random topics-
Scary movies, books, people, seasons.
I remember how your hugs melted my heart and
your I-love-you’s grounded me.
You were warm.
You were sweet.
You were loving.
But then you got cold and closed off;
Holding hands or sitting on your lap was a nuisance,
Kisses would annoy you and all I would get is quick a “love you”.
I fought so hard for us when I thought
we were really going to make it but by then you stopped caring.
When you cared, I didn’t because you’d already hurt me too much.
When I finally pushed myself the rest of the way you didn’t care at all.
Now, all I get is cold, short answers.
You walk by me without a word.
You make an effort not to look at me at all.
But I left you?
I was the one who left because I was the one
getting hurt,
So how are you the angry upset cold morbid victim?
I’ve been holding onto you thinking
I’m still in love with you,
But you’re not the person I fell in love with.
I don’t even know who you are and-
While I was out here finding myself and
dealing with my pain you were out there losing yourself and causing more.
