I used to sit down on the floor, and stare myself down in the mirror.
I hated everything about me, and I wanted to believe that there was something more inside me.
There was ringing in my ears, and screaming in my brain, why can’t it just go away?
Y’know, those meds weren’t even helping, but I had to keep em poppin.
It all just fell apart in one little second, the bloody tears started seeping through my wounds.
Everyone said, “Hey, yeah it’s gonna get better!”
But what the heck did they know? They aren’t even thinking.
I just wanted to let go, release myself from the chains holding me to my painful thoughts that never seemed to stop
A small glow snuck it’s way into the darkness surrounding me, and with every step I took, it grew brighter and brighter.
It was out of place in the ever growing darkness, yet it felt warm and welcoming, as if it were the only thing that could comfort my pain.
When I reached out to grasp it, the world around me burst with beautiful and bright colors.
Relief washed over me like the strong salty waves of the ocean, a peaceful state of mind replacing all the negative things in my life.
Warm and gentle hands grasped my heart oh so softly, and as I opened my eyes, I saw the reason to my happiness.
I realized I had finally found true happiness and peace as I looked up into the dark brown eyes that held my future.
My future had large gentle hands, black curly hair, one of the sweetest smiles, and welcoming arms.
I buried my face into his warm chest as he embraced me, noticing the sweet smell of home that I never had in my life.
This, I realized, is my life, my future, and my wants and needs, and he was the key to paradise, a place full of happiness and love.
All my fears wisped away and my heart finally stopped hurting as he held me close to him.
This is my future, and I refuse to lose the only thing I need, no matter the cost.
No more sadness, no more paranoia, no more lonely night, only warmth and comfort.
In his arms is my home, and in his hands is my love and affection.
So, I guess things really can get better, I was just too blind to see it.
My advice to you, never give up and never stop fighting, thing will get better, whether you believe me or not.
But just do me one favor, keeping searching for your own reason to fight, we all have one.
~Codie Lapae
Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND (Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs)
