These are words I never thought I'd learn to say,
but I don't want to fall again
and I don't want to hit another brick wall
and wake up lost inside my mind
with a blade resting between my fingers.
I spent years escaping my realities
striving to survive the blackness,
protected by the walls of chains
surrounding my black heart.
I guess I'm back at square one,
travelling through time
in a life where all my secrets are sold,
and I've just been dragging through the year
afraid of what or who might appear.
I trained myself to stay calm,
refusing to ever look back,
afraid of the reactions I would have
if the past came crashing into me
like an uninvited winter.
I respect myself too much
to let go of the things I learned,
like don't leave the door to your heart wide open
and never expose these tears I cry.
No one can unwind the chains
of the silent girl,
forever protected by her black heart.
