Acceptance

I wish that I could restart life,
With the mind I have today,
I wish that I could realise,
What people try to say,
I wish that I could see my flaws,
The way that others do,
I wish that I could change myself,
Plan change and follow through,
I know that perfection is not me,
I'm not that way designed,
Yet for all my faults I try be true,
I'm just that way inclined,
I'd like to find my blueprints,
Find my original mould,
Inspect it every single inch,
Discard the dark and cold,
The feeling to just scream and shout,
The feelings I could do without,
The urge that's deep inside to fight,
I'd prefer to see the light,
The all consuming feeling,
Of hatred cast to all,
Non stop mind still reeling,
Just waiting for that fall
I wish I had the perfect out,
A way to change just me,
I wish the drama in my life,
Would cease and let me be,
Yet I if I had this wish of mine,
This wish of peace and vows,
If I had this wish come true,
I'd not be here right now,
Not writing this,
Not wishing thoughts,
Not wanting things,
That come to nought,
If I had a chance,
To change this life of mine,
I'd look at just how far I've come,
And politely decline.