Every so often
I think to myself
if one day
I would be able to
wean off of my medication.
Yet every single time
I miss a day or two,
it is obvious
that I will never
come off of antidepressants.
No,
it isn't a bad thing
that I take 200mg
of Zoloft
every morning.
It's just
a small part of me
wishes I could be unmedicated
and be okay.
Today
was a day
where I noticed
missing two doses
really makes a difference
in my mood.
I am irritable
and I find it hard
to control the intensity
of my emotions.
From nearly bawling my eyes out
because of how people
were driving
to the intense fatigue
from working in the comfort
of my apartment,
I knew
that I am reliant
on medicine.
I will most likely
never come off of
my SSRI completely,
but at least
there is something
that makes it easier to live
with the mental illnesses
that try to break me down.
