Dear Friend, Chapter 4: The VoiceMail

--ring ring--
"Hey you've reached me you know what to do"
--beep--
Hey,
It's me,
Just checking in on you,
Remembering all that we set out to do,
I'm sorry I can't sit on the bench with you today,
It's not that I don't want to sit there,
It's just I'm over a thousand miles away right now,
I miss you so much,
I'm always so mad at myself,
Knowing I could've stopped what you did,
But I was too late,
I was to ignorant to realize how bad it was for you,
And all I hear now instead of the beep,
Is that gun shot,
The last thing I heard from you,
That gunshot to the chest,
And you gasping for air,
It's my fault I couldn't save you,
It's my fault that you're six feet under,
Why did it have to be you,
You had so much going on in your life compared to me,
You had a fiancée,
You were about to finish up college,
You and her put a down payment on a house,
I am hurting everyday from you going,
I now have PTSD from it,
I see a therapist,
I have a girlfriend now too,
We have a starter family,
She had a child before we got together,
I'm trying to help raise him,
I'm trying to show him how great his uncle was,
I will take him to the bench next time we have this discussion,
Because he needs to see how great his uncle is,
I love you