Star beat me to nominating this! I really liked the reflection on when reality is blurred, and how easy it can be to fall into that, especially, as I saw it, when the presence of someone you have lost (physically or emotionally) makes it harder for you to even want to stay awake and swear off sleeping. The question of what you would do if you hadn't dreamed of them, that you would have spilled poetry instead, made me think of a few things. Are you satisfied by their visit, but what is kept alive in your mind, that you wouldn't need to pen it? Or is it that you would have become unraveled, and long for this person more, or even find your own truth in being able to let your thoughts run loose? The "it never mattered what you did" hinted at something toxic perhaps? That you have to keep searching for that perspective, holding on to it so that you keep yourself centered. Although, the tone of that line could also mean a softness, a forgiveness, that even in their lowest or worst moments, you'd still want to be connected to them. Then, the image of Sisyphus rolling that boulder up the hill. Like you can only hope not to dream, to not be faced with the weight of remembering. Powerful last few lines!