Save Yourself (Senryu) (NaPoWriMo Day 11)

Ver well said in a few short words STAR :)

M :)

This is absolutely brilliant. I've read it 'offline' many times since you posted it and I read the original also but I must say this wks better, I can't explain why but it does - for me anyway.

The title 'save yourself' well it certainly fits in with the prompt and unfortunately, many of us 'older generations' would go back and change things from the past that have hurt us or where we've hurt others so that we could allow ourselves to forgive or be forgiven wouldn't we? But, I have to say we have to also remember that these things have shaped us into the people we are today, they have made us stronger and somewhat wiser people - even if we may not feel it right now - they have and we can spread (hopefully) our knowledge onto the younger generations and they may take heed.

Remember when you

do crash,
^
I separated this like I have for I felt it needed it. I like how your started this because this is relatable for us all as we'll all at some point in our lives have a day where 'we will crash' where we will feel as though we can go on no longer, as though we are not good enough etc etc and though we may generally be 'fit and well' our mind will begin playing tricks on us and that's where we've got to 'up our game.'

don’t pick at your wounds
you will regret it.
^
Some very, very wise words. As I said, we have to 'up our game' when our mind begins to start playing tricks on us though, for some of us it will be a bigger 'game to up' and for the rest it will be easier but my goodness no matter how big the game, it'll be hard enough without anyone judging won't it?

Nominated!

Take care,
Em x

At first, especially with the title, I read this as foreboding. And very direct. Then, I saw the wisdom, the wanting to tell that younger self that the crashing/falling down and everything else is inevitable, but it's how you pick yourself back up that matters. On my first read, I wasn't sure if this flowed as well as it could have. Starting the first line with "even" then the second line with "just" didn't feel necessary, like you didn't need one or the other if that makes sense. I also thought the "you will regret it" could be phrased maybe a bit differently? I'm not sure how. I just think my first time reading it I wasn't sure of the tone, so that threw me off for a minute. But perhaps it's supposed to. That anger or bitterness, like a warning, then that tinge of sadness. At all the times of reopening new wounds and never giving yourself time to heal. Which we all need. We need to allow ourselves the space and opportunity, as we deserve the chance to move forward.