Whales (Haiku)

by Jack   Apr 16, 2021


Whales

Jump out of water,
Coming up to get a breathe,
Creatures of the deep.

2


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Latest Comments

  • 3 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    i love whales, especially when they surface and breathe a fountain of sea water out of their blowholes. Thanks for sharing images of this wonderful mammal.

    Perhaps, you could try another, incorporating the image i have just described?

    • 3 years ago

      by Jack

      Thanks, I'll work on that.

  • 3 years ago

    by Keira Pickard

    I really like this! Precisely seventeen syllables:)
    I love the description you've used for them. I also enjoyed how you've centered it, as I thing presentation is a big part in a poem ( personally ) But a top tip for haikus/ senryus/sytuits: they're only three lines long, but the title doesn't count. Use the title as a sneaky fourth line ( it's cheating, but everyone does it! ) and maybe play around with it a bit. Puns and things like that are always clever. Still, I see the point in keeping it as just whale, as you're not mentioning the word whale in the actual verse. Things like that.
    Anyway, I thought this was lovely!

    • 3 years ago

      by Jack

      Thank you Keira!

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