by Mr. Darcy
Ben, i am loving the imagery here. As i was reading the 3 rhyming lines, it felt like a beat. Could this rhythm continue a little better if you change the word 'paw' with drum? Also the alliteration would be a killer! As i write this, the 'paw' shows great control from the bull, not charging and displaying his anger. Ignore the word, drum - silly idea! lol |
by Ben Pickard
I think I kept up, Michael! Thank you. |
by Em
I absolutely love this and second what Mr D said the rhyming of the daylight, half light and moonlight really give off the beat of the bulls paw/hoof or whatever they've called - excellent work as ever and glad to see this nominated. |
by Ben Pickard
Thanks so much, Em. |