Loving her.

by Poet on the Piano   Apr 24, 2021


I am one of the lucky ones.

I do not have to cower in clubs,
hide in alleyways, or send coded
messages to confess my love.

But those before me, those who had
to fend for themselves, who couldn't
find acceptance at their doorstep,

they weren't so lucky.

They stay with me.

I feel their spirit, their fight,
their vulnerability, in my bones.

I could not be free without them.

I continue to encounter fear
when I imagine a future with her.

This fear is often irrational,
"nobody in this day and age cares
who you love or who you're with"

but they do.

They don't understand that
coming out is a constant declaration,

that there is a reason why we celebrate
even the most minuscule sign of progress.

I think back to those who were
and currently are ostracized,
violently pushed off sidewalks,
taken from families to be corrected.

And I am amazed.

Amazed at how far we've come,
but heartbroken it's taken this much time.

There are still corners of the world
not yet safe for people like us.

And it's not always bruises and broken
wrists causing the most distress.

I've seen the coldness,
the distance in your eyes.

I know too well the searing
wounds of betrayal.

I've felt my own denial,
a double-edged sword I'm still
recovering from.

I've heard the excuses,
never claiming accountability:
"it was different in my generation,
we didn't know any better".

And I carry the pain with me,
hoping I'll never forget,
praying it won't be erased so I can
know what keeps moving us forward.

Our stories defy barriers,
carried by the meek voices of the wind,

just to be heard.

Just to be able to freely love.

________________________________________

Written after watching "Your Name Engraved Herein", a Taiwanese LGBTQ+ film. One of the main songs from it:
https://youtu.be/PThAcbA8z6I

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  • 3 years ago

    by nouriguess

    “They don't understand that
    coming out is a constant declaration,

    that there is a reason why we celebrate
    even the most minuscule sign of progress.”

    I know this is a poem about LGPTQ+ community’s long strife and achievements. But what’s great about your poem is that it could be about many things, especially this part. Personally, this applies to mentally ill people like myself. I always have to “come out” and defy the stigmatization and shaming, I always have to prove that I’m as capable as, or even more than, other academics in my field. I’m always anxious of being labeled. I’m always preparing for a battle to defend my self-worth. It’s exhaustive. LGBTQ+ people (or any stigmatized group of people) must keep on striving and coming out and breaking social norms and being proud to be whoever they really are.

    I love reading your poetry.

    • 3 years ago

      by Poet on the Piano

      I love when you share your thoughts here, and yes, labels and defying the stigma can apply to so many other things. I'm sorry you've gone through that yourself, as yes, it can certainly be tiresome to feel we have to prove ourselves or show our potential. We must keep striving indeed! <3

  • 3 years ago

    by Brenda

    Mary Anne, this is such a wonderful piece. There is something so freeing just being true to yourself. I could feel your ability to just breathe as I read this. Awesome!

  • 3 years ago

    by Keira Pickard

    Everyone should be proud of who they are, and this poem is exactly what that says. It's taken a while, but it's brilliant that we can all live true to ourselves today. Excellent :)

  • 3 years ago

    by Em

    This says so much. I wish times would move quicker. I hate the phrase 'coming out' because it doesn't matter who you love - love is love and it is no different in my opinion.
    Those last lines really got to me and made me cry - bless your heart MA you are you and you should be proud.

    Sending hugs and love xxx

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