Tears Mixed In

I often find myself crying in the shower, my tears mixed in with the hot water against my skin
I almost don’t question it anymore, allowing the emotions hidden to spill over when out of eyesight
I can’t let them see me fragile, can’t let them see me feel or they’ll think they have control
I’m scared of what it’s doing, crying in seclusion
Scared that soon all of my emotions will display behind a shower curtain
Every smile, every wince of pain, of fear, every shrug of indifference
For now, when sadness burdens me and I can hold it no longer, I’ll let them be free