Smoke And Syllables (English sonnet)

by Ben Pickard   Jun 7, 2021


If fortune favours multi-rhythm words
By counting syllables amongst its boons,
Then open up my grave when I'm interred
And with them, heal these simple one-count wounds.
A master craftsman will discard his tools
If each and every blow produces tripe;
His hammer won't succeed if once it cools,
Nor fool the eyes of those with clearer sight.
What tyranny abounds throughout my quill
To write a verse without the needed guile?
So wounded pride beseeches me instil
Some craftsmanship amidst what is defiled.
Allow the dragon peaceful rest before
You prod this serpent into deadly war.

--

Ben Pickard

*I wrote this after once being constructively
criticized for using too many one syllable words in
my sonnets. I tried to rectify it here.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 3 years ago

    by Everlasting

    say what? I think I read this piece while blind
    please let me find my glasses if you can
    Just give a minute if you do not mind
    I left them underneath the ceiling fan
    My boy must have seen them before I have
    He is now running, bumping into walls
    I hope my glasses are not broken in halves
    Oh there he is, and now, he goes and falls
    but not to worry, he is doing fine
    He stood up twice without a single cry
    Let’s try to catch him. This time he is mine.
    Oh silly boy, why do you bark, oh my!
    Where are my glasses? And Where is my child?
    Forgive me I’ll be back this is so wild

    • 3 years ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Lucero, you never fail to amaze me. Thank you..

    • 3 years ago

      by Everlasting

      initially I meant to bark about
      the reference of syllable strength
      and whether sonnets are without a doubt
      much better with more syllables length
      I mean, so what if sonnets only have
      for the most part one syllable word count
      in each and every of its lines, thereof?
      I think one should’t take that into account
      because what matters most is writing free
      the words that come to us in times of need.
      I’m sure you somehow will agree with me
      At least that’s what I gathered as I read
      But as you know i’m no dog hence I won’t bark
      I just came back to say to you, “good work.”

    • 3 years ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Stop it, Lucero, you're killing me!

    • 3 years ago

      by Everlasting

      Oh shoot! Oh shoot! I shot you by mistake
      believe me man I aimed towards the ground
      right there beside your feet I saw a snake
      Some kind of serpent hissing, making sounds
      it looked to me like it would soon attack
      but lord! oh lord! It was just you transforming
      becoming Ben, the poet, turning back
      And now, I see you in front of me bleeding
      Oh why can’t I go back in time to stop me?!
      If so, I wouldn’t have to hear you say
      “Stop it. Lucero, you are killing me!”
      but seems this is the price I have to pay
      because I’m blind and didn’t see you right
      but now I see you are a dragon of … light

      Sorry Ben, this is the last one. :P
      Can’t help it… when inspiration comes it comes…

  • 3 years ago

    by Keira Pickard

    You? Too many one syllable words in SONNETS? Honestly, I've hardly ever seen a sonnet written under the flow of your quill, so god knows where that came from . . .

    • 3 years ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Oh, they exist, Keira. In fact, I think I took the advice pretty well, considering...

  • 3 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    lol - i hope this creative process was a cathartic one. Nicely done, Ben.

  • 3 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    i seem to remember this happening. I will take heed if i ever feel the need to try to prod your serpent!

    • 3 years ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Good God, Michael, that's a whole new sonnet there...

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