Body talks.

by Poet on the Piano   Jul 16, 2021


This body talks and interrupts
- my peace -
at the slightest movement.

I change clothes
throughout the day,
withholding anger
as I pinch at the fabric and
and my unruly curves.

Nothing feels right.

I wear loose shirts and shorts
to feel smaller,
then am reminded of the
space I no longer occupy.

I wear outfits more true to my size
then feel constricted,
every inch too visible, too vulnerable.

I fear opening up and being told
to check my vanity,
or to learn to be content with myself.

It was never about the weight.

Once more, I draw my knees close,
hoping to shrink,
to become a crawlspace
where no other body could fit.

This body speaks,
and I wish I had the option to not
- listen -

    report violation
6


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Latest Comments

  • 3 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    This is a powerful piece that is very relatable to many people. I suffered from anorexia in my teens and no matter how much weight I lost I still see the monster in the mirror. What changed my life was looking at a printed family photo. I realised that what I saw in the photo was entirely different than what I saw in the mirror. In the mirror was a huge person that needed to lose weight but in the photo my bones were sticking out and I looked really ill. It took time and the support of some really lovely friends but I managed to get back to a healthy weight and maintain it for most of the time at least. It's really great that poems like this are being written because it helps raise awareness of eating disorders. Milly x

    • 3 years ago

      by Poet on the Piano

      Milly, thank you so much for sharing and though I hate that you went through that and struggled, I'm immensely happy you had support of family and friends as it sounds like, but I also know how even with that, it can be difficult to deal with when it becomes such a part of our lives. There is still a great deal of stigma surrounding eating disorders in my opinion, especially when people forget it's not as easy as simply changing suddenly. Thanks so much for reading!

  • 3 years ago

    by Milo

    The mind and body for some is a love and hate relationship. I was part of OA (overeaters anonymous) for some years and I still have no idea the language my body speaks. I always thought the disconnect is me trying to fit in a vessel that I didn't pay the passage for. I'm the traveler in the boat that creaks violently against the prevailing waves and winds, not knowing how to steer or operate its sails. I'm just the nobody on this vessel that demands everything from me. And we haven't even got into the subject of body image yet. Your poem is extraordinary in its simplicity to bring about complicated emotions and ideas that resonates with so many. Thank you.

    • 3 years ago

      by Poet on the Piano

      Milo, really appreciate this. And you write with an eloquence and depth, I truly felt that. Thank you for reading and leaving your thoughts and insights here.

  • 3 years ago

    by Rayven

    I felt this poem to the very core of my being. Personally I'm definitely getting more comfortable with my body but the changing of clothes is something I feel being gender fluid. My personal battle is more with food. Which you could say is what this poem is about as well.

    The poem as a whole is a testament to eating disorders and how much people struggle with it all. Nothing feels like it fits right at all and even though it's not about the weight in your eyes, the world at large is cynical about people being too fat or too skinny. From personal experience and being gender fluid with an eating disorder myself, I resonated with the poem greatly. I wear loose shirts and dresses, shorts, huge clothes to hide myself. I have binge eating disorder.

    I liked the poem as a whole because it does well to tell a story that many people can relate to, the emotional ties are greatly worded as well. Everything hits home, especially the clothes lines here and the fact that you nailed it on the head with the vanity lines. I wouldn't change anything as I didn't see any mistake.

    • 3 years ago

      by Poet on the Piano

      You have no idea how much I appreciate this comment. I'm just starting to really name and admit/confront these things... it's tough when it seems to be a mix of eating disorder thoughts and possibly body dysmorphia and a little of gender dysphoria too, but it helps to try and put it into words because there can be so much confusion overall. Thanks again, and glad you're getting more comfortable, that is a start for sure and I'm glad to hear it!

  • 3 years ago

    by Star

    I swear I got chills, this took me by surprise. I'm happy this is nominated, but at the sam time sad I didn't get to it first.
    "It was never about the weight."
    ^
    THIS LINE!!!! Omg it says a lot.

    Thank you so much for sharing this. You're amazing :)

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