You've gotten so good at destroying yourself.
You implode with the soft gospels of the past,
but the melodies cannot replace the void,
always reliving the remorse of all the terrible
things you've witnessed or done.
Until one day at last,
the writ of forgiveness is etched on your back,
but you can't see it. Not even in the mirror,
and noone will tell you what it says
or how to move on from your regrets.
How cruel the one that hurt you and
the one you hurt by pushing away,
they both don't want you to forget
as the light that once guided you becomes dim
against the thousand doors and walls
you made for your gentle heart to keep them out.
Here you are,
trapped with all your misery and doubts
inside the prison you meticulously
built throughout your life,
not knowing and never knowing
what it feels like to love or
be happy without hurting.
Because you inadvertently
locked yourself from everyone,
always quiet within an empty room
while utterly sad, broken and alone.
The light you once were that
shined so brightly before
is not you anymore.
You are a loveless lover from
yourself and everyone else,
finally detached from the world
abandoned, bruised and left to struggle
as you forgot how to love and be loved
behind your doors and walls on your own.
