Same thing

TW:poem might be triggering for some

It’s never been about wanting to die.

It’s always been about not caring what happens while I’m alive.

Which I think hits to close to the boderline.

Cause for me, not caring is the beginning to the end.

Even if I’m not standing on the bridge to jump off,

I’m drinking while driving across it,

I’m not swallowing mass amounts of pills in hopes I won’t wake up,

I’m taking drugs in a strangers apartment.

It’s different you’d say but really what is the difference?

when ultimately it will all lead to the same thing.

*this is an old poem I wrote when I was in a bad place. I am 2 years sober.