Not Your Enemy Right?

by sera   Aug 27, 2021


I think today
I've got my heart broken again
not by love
but by friendship

that felt like yesterday
when I got to know
a friend of 5 years
didn't like me in our group of friends

I didn't know she felt that way
I felt sorry for thinking we're close
and I felt unfair
that I thought we're close

now when I see her, hear her
awkwardness took over
remembering she didn't like me
I took my distance so she didn't hate me

and that was years ago
but today there's someone else
she supposed to be my partner
but she quit and blocked me

I didn't get the closure but closed door
I know I didn't fit in but I try to be
but she still contacting the other
except me

I guess I make her uncomfortable
I guess I'm an eyesore
I never thought we're close
but i don't think we're enemy?

well I know now
and I'll back away
not like I was approaching anyway
but I'll delete you from my life like you were never even there

2


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Latest Comments

  • 3 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I've had this happen before, and you captured so much of the hurt and heart-brokenness, which I think most people attribute to relationships concerning love, not always friendship. It's also hard to wonder if and why and is there even a reason as to why this person strayed from you, or doesn't care or want to be around you anymore. I think too often, we blame ourselves, or make excuses for them. I've learned that sometimes, people change, or I've changed, and not for the worse necessarily. I found it difficult in high school to realize that friends were leaving simply because I was dealing with my own depression. I didn't understand it, and I'm sure they didn't either. I wasn't the person they knew on the outside anymore, even though it's far more complex than that. And there was distance with another friend of mine that I don't know if we could have salvaged. It was confusing, and it happened in a way where it seemed we just grew apart in an awkward way. Sometimes we can't articulate or get an answer, and you penned that quite well, how painful that can be in wanting closure, in how we move on when we're in that space of not friends, but not enemies either.

    Thanks for sharing this.

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