Love those ending lines. There is still a huge stigma surrounding BPD and personality disorders in general, especially when people demonize mental illness and make false claims that people who struggle don't care or can't show compassion. You describe the complexities and frustrations and impulses here so well, with depth and an understanding that you are struggling, and even if others don't understand, you are trying to understand this, to manage it as best you can. All the best to you.