You Shot Me, But I'm Still Alive

by Kryptonite Dreamer   Dec 10, 2021


It was a cold winters night,
A night like every other,
Snow blowing all around us,
The frigid air surrounding us,
I thought you looked incredible,
Wearing a red hat that made your eyes pop,
You were just stunning,
Melting my heart with every second of your smile,
I remember I was so set to ask you out,
I was so excited to try to have you actually as mine,
But than,
Your phone illuminates,
It's one of your girlfriends asking you how it's going,
And you tell her that I'm so annoying,
The smile I had on my face,
Instantly turns into tears,
Because I felt something,
Something you didn't feel,
The pain of knowing I'll be rejected,
After I invested so much time into you,
Being patient,
Being there for you,
When you had nobody else,
But of course,
When I get this happy,
Something always hurts me,
I guess I'm too broken for love,
Too damaged to let others in,
Too caring to have others feel my love,
But as you walk away,
I hear you faintly say,
"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you",
Feeling my tears turn to ice,
Letting you just walk away,
Feeling my heart get colder,
Building the walls I let you tear down,
Telling myself,
"Nobody will ever be allowed past these walls again",
Refusing to let people in,
Giving the bare minimum in responses now,
Trying not to show emotion anymore for anything,
Watching you fade from a spot of happiness for me,
To now Being just a memory,
So I don't have to tear down these walls

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Latest Comments

  • 2 years ago

    by Kate

    Also like the subject matter of this poem. Like how you characterized the person in the beginning, the light that you painted them in. Similar suggestion as the previous poem, a change in punctuation can make a huge difference in how it’s read. Try periods at the end of sentences or semi-colons or something to sort of break the poem apart slightly. “But than” should be “then” I believe and the following line could be “asking” rather than “asks.” Putting in those little punches drives home emotion, which there’s a lot of in this. “But then…” or “Letting you just walk away. / Feeling my heart get colder.” I also tend to google synonyms for words I feel that I’ve used a lot in a poem, try to find more variety when I can’t find the word by myself.

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