Dear Deceased and Beloved

Donnie Smyth,

If you were sitting next to me, sharing this view, so early in the morning, I would sit and talk with you.

We would catch up on each other’s lives, since it’s been too long. I would say…
“ I didn’t know you liked motorcycles.”
And smile at your excitement while you talk about it.

I would then tell you just how dangerous they are and of course to be careful. Expressing my concern for your safety.
This makes me want to cry.
Knowing that you would probably roll your eyes at me and brush it off laughing. But then again, I can’t say for sure. It’s been so long since the way we were friends as kids. I miss you Donnie.

I would go on to ask how things are in your life. “How is your mom and brother doing? How is work going for you these days? Is there a special lady in your life? Where abouts are you staying – is it a nice place? Do you like it?”
I would listen to all your answers, hoping that each response is filled with happiness. Sharing your joy for all the blessings you have, and the blessings you give to others.

Together we would sit, facing the city line and watch the crows gather together in numbers that are rarely seen. Only this early in the morning, in the right spot, can we watch this and chat. Marveling at the wonders of life, all while facing it’s challenges every day.

What an odd feeling – so conflicting…
Here we sit, together, watching the day dawn and it’s beautiful but I am still sad. Because you sit here with me in spirit, but there is still a feeling of absence.

My dear friend Donnie, I miss those days when we were kids. I will cherish those memories for as long as I live and the friendship we shared. You felt like a brother in some ways, and I know you were as genuine as my own brothers.

No words will explain these feelings, but I know you will get this letter and the feelings that accompany it. I miss you my friend.

Until we meet again,
Jamie