I fear for the day

I fear for the day when I no longer see the good in people;
Or even in myself.
For the day when all of my kindness is overtaken by anger and spite-
Because I’ve spent too many years being taken for granted.
I fear for the day when the light leaves my eyes,
The color leaves my cheeks,
The kindness leaves my heart.
I fear for the day when I’ve heard one too many harsh words;
When I stop believing in myself because everybody told me I couldn’t,
Everybody told me I wasn’t,
Everybody told me I won’t.
I fear for the day when I no longer see the light in the darkness;
Because everybody who had seen that I was able to see it-
Snuffed it out every. single. time.
For the day when the warmth isn’t comforting and I only find solace in the cold
Because that is all that is left of me-
When everything else has either withered away or died off with harsh words, insensitivity, misunderstanding, and damage.
I fear for the day when I can no longer find humor in things I used to find comical;
When I lose interest in things I used to find compelling.
I fear the day when I will no longer be what makes me me;
When I will no longer remember the woman who cared too much,
Loved too deeply,
And saw the light in things most people wouldn’t even take a second glance at.
I fear for the day when I no longer trust anyone;
Because everyone I have let in has disappointed me in extremely poor ways.
I fear for the day when I shut down in order to protect myself because the people in my life damaged me-
while I poured life into them.
I fear for the day ahead of me.