A narcissist is a term suited best for me.
When I try to express my sorrow, how my selfish ways got us here,
it seems that those are still the reasons in which I'm pouring my heart out.
A tough pill to swallow, is knowing you're the match from the fire,
and that you've poured gasoline over everything prior to igniting.
A tough pill to swallow, is knowing you can never have what was once all yours,
because you decided to douse it all under heavy black smoke.
A tough pill to swallow, is knowing you'll never reach happiness again,
because you didn't think adding more wood may perhaps heighten the flames.
A hollowed-out being is a term suited best for me.
When I try to feel for someone else, empathetic towards their pain,
it seems I'm unable to do so, and that I'm doing more harm than good.
A tough pill to swallow, is knowing you ruined every opportunity you had,
and that you've burned every bridge you may ever have come across.
A tough pill to swallow, is knowing you could've had it all,
but you decided personal worth was more important than those around you.
A tough pill to swallow, is knowing you are the reason for all of your pain,
and now you finally understand it, but it's far beyond too late.
A stain in someone's past is a term suited best for me.
When I think about what I've done, and how I could maybe mend it all,
it seems that I've worn out my welcome, and the pain is all that's left.
A tough pill to swallow, is living with this mindset every day,
and knowing there's no cure, it will never go away.
A tough pill to swallow, is living with knowledge you've destroyed your world,
and you can't construct it back from scratch.
A tough pill to swallow, is living.
