The filth That I Am

I am haunted by my past
Though, not as it seems
My outside looks happy
But my thoughts too extreme

I haven't hurt myself
In what seems like years
I have an image now
Fake plastic for my peers

Empty smiles, empty eyes
Bubbly on the outside
And all I can ever think about
Is my own suicide

How pathetic can I be
Thinking I am great
When life chose my destiny
It brought me to my fate

Sickened with choices
Saddened by life
I take a quick look
To my trusty knife

I have not harmed myself
It what has been years
All this pent up sadness
Just brings me to tears

Do I take that chance
Do I finally let go
To fall into the filth
Six feet below