You swear that I didn’t love you;
But I did.
I loved you so damn much it hurt and-
I kept running back and running back to the same place that I kept getting hurt in.
You put your hands on me and it was my fault;
But I still loved you.
You degraded me and destroyed me-
But I still loved you.
Your arms were my comfort and your smile was my light and I-
I ignored all of the abuse for so long,
Because I loved you.
Chance after chance,
Day after day,
Year after year.
You were always hurting me;
Always trying to make me feel like crap and throwing the deepest darkest parts of my past in my face in angry twisted words just to destroy me and;
I still loved you.
I kept searching for the light in you and sometimes I would find it.
As soon as I did it was gone and the darkness replaced it again,
Surrounding me and smothering me with it while you dug your knife in from every possible angle while I was blinded.
When the light came back I would patch my bleeding wounds;
Adding more and more gauze to wounds that you kept reopening and digging into.
Wounds that weren’t yours to make,
Weren’t yours to dig into.
You don’t stay with someone who treats you like that-
Without loving them.
Love is the root of all relationships and usually you’re too far deep in it by the time the darkness surrounds you.
I did love you, I do love you.
But I had to find my way out of your darkness and into my light because-
it’s time I stop loving you and start loving me.
