When things get bad I take myself back to the nights I spent with you
Curled up on couches or sitting in sports bars laughing until I couldn’t breathe.
When my heart drops to my stomach and the harsh words rip open old wounds and create new ones
I take myself back to the nights where your kisses stitched back together the parts of me that were broken;
When your hugs mended my soul and your smile reminded me there was light
Even when my world had been so black and ugly.
When the physical bruises heal but the psychological ones do not-
I take myself back to the times when your kind words reminded me
that I was not what I had been through
And that what I was taught to believe about myself was
Really just someone else’s way of getting control over me and;
When it feels like I’m dying on the bathroom floor and I’ve sobbed so hard my lungs feel like
they’re going to burst
I take myself back to the time when your gentle touch reminded me what it was like to be loved.
To be really, truly loved.
I have to hold onto these things because they are my safe haven-
You are my safe haven.
You were there in person to get me through the worst time of my life and you aren’t here now but-
You’re still here.
You’re still helping 5 years later.
