We Can Hope and Truly Succeed

I’m sad..
I want to be better..
Just saying that..
Makes it half as bad..
I want to die..
I want to be free..
I need hope..
I don’t want to hurt..
I don’t want to stress..
I want a life I can be happy with..
I want hope..
I want another chance..
I want to escape..
From this dread in my head..
Every good day..
Has a bad day behind it..
I need stability..
I want hope..
Maybe I should pray..
And let the pain..
Fade away..
Alone I stay..
Hoping for a way..
Away from the hate..
For myself and my mistakes..
The illusion..
That I’m hopeless..
That I’m broken..
And unlucky..
Although it’s all a lie..
I shouldn’t have to try..
I know I’m fine..
But blind..
To consequences..
Although I’m inflicted with them..
Driving me insane..
Trying to regain..
My healthy state of mine..
Inside this traumatized brain..
These mal-adaptive coping skills..
Unsustainable instability..
But positive I’m going to be okay..
Reminded every day..
Of the better..
Of the worst..
But hope..
Hate..
Pain..
Desire for a reprieve..
A choice to be..
Better than how I see..
Myself..

R.M.D.S.